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Topic: GPRO News Site |
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#2 posted Mar 22nd 2021, 19:27:05
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Looking forward to this ☺️
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#3 posted Mar 22nd 2021, 20:02:21
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Quote ( Ricardo Antunes @ March 22nd 2021,19:24:29 ) how many Rookies hired drivers with a talent of 250
That made my day :)
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#4 posted Mar 22nd 2021, 20:37:52
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Some guy called Dino stole a bandana! But I can't reveal the source.
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Last week in GPRO:
- The new season calendar was released, and it is the most expensive one for the 82nd time in a row, surpassing the previous most expensive season calendar, which was Season 81.
- Mind games are played in the Master – 1 thread, leaving everyone in the GPRO player base to leak their plans for the next 25 minutes.
- The “Roast the manager above you” has become a depressing thread to watch; witnesses report that “nobody was harmed in the making of these «roasts»”
The new season came, with the fastest and most entretaining season reset ever, featuring a game which made you doubt your calculating skills; after the fun had ended, in typical GPRO fashion, the new calendar was announced, and for the 82nd time in a row, this was deemed the most expensive season until now. Experts say they will need to “stay in Amateur for 25 seasons to repair the damage done to their finances”. The projections say that the average net loss of an Elite manager can average -100 million dollars, which concerns everyone but Roland Postle, who surely has it all under control.
Recently, a heated argument appeared on the Master – 1 group thread, as a manager was reportedly “playing mind games with their opponents, in an attempt to figure out if they were going to promote, retain, or relegate.”. Many managers fear that the integrity of the game could be torn apart with this vital information; many bystanders invaded the thread and consequently leaked all the plans they had, including Amateurs who swore they would pick Pipirellis, or that they would push for promo while calling me a legend (which seems accurate), and in general, going against the rules of any Master group to be as hostile and unfriendly as possible, while having no mercy in seek of that prized Elite spot. The argument cooled down shortly after, and it was in that moment that around 36 managers removed Master – 1 from their watchlist.
As the weeks go on, a new thread has gained some popularity over others: The “Roast the manager above thread”; although no real roasts have been posted there in a while, an average of 3 users have been fighting to see who can use the most dumb and old insult in the book. Witnesses say that “everyone has been surpassing the newest post as the weirdest and least harmful roast ever seen”, and this incredible competition is expected to go on for a while until one of the participants finally decides to stop answering to the weak response of his opponent.
In other news:
- The credibility of several things has been questioned in various manners; in a first instance, the whole game was questioned by its ethics by poetry, and the OP’s idea was reportedly to give perks to those who pay for supporter status, such as not being blocked, to make the game fairer and more ethical (although nobody really understood what the complaint was). Later, the economics of the game were also questioned, with the aid of a post bigger than the bible, resulting in nobody reading it.
- After a long wait, Lewis Hamilton from Turkey finally joined GPRO, making this a milestone for the community for finally having a F1 driver sign up for the game. Admins ensure the community that “Lewis Hamilton will be taken care of.” Every rookie awaits with excitement in hopes that the famous player lands on their group.
- The Oscars were the target of a pirate attack, where managers had their accounts hacked and the hackers made good nominations in each category in their behalf, threatening them of stealing their account if they changed their nomination. Witnesses report that “they have never seen such good nominations” and only Cameron Halsall escaped that cyberattack, being able to nominate Bradley Preen for the Hall of Fame.
For this week, this were the GPRO news; see you next week, with more exciting stories on how the forums are essential only made up of forum games!
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#6 posted Mar 22nd 2021, 21:00:50
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#7 posted Mar 23rd 2021, 16:26:44
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Very entertaining, thanks.
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#8 posted Mar 23rd 2021, 16:37:40
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If pirates hacked the Oscars... is it now the Oscarrrrs?
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#9 posted Mar 23rd 2021, 17:56:21
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Quote ( Ricardo Antunes @ March 22nd 2021,20:50:59 ) Lewis Hamilton from Turkey
That was pretty lame.
Better is having 4 first names, including family names, like my last name is, race almost 200 races spending less than 24 hours and scoring 0 points. Just being one of the richest in the level. These guys... this guy is the anti super rookie.
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#10 posted Mar 23rd 2021, 17:59:50
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Quote ( Zé Pedro Paula @ March 23rd 2021,17:56:21 ) Quote ( Ricardo Antunes @ March 22nd 2021,20:50:59 )
Lewis Hamilton from Turkey
That was pretty lame.
Better is having 4 first names, including family names, like my last name is, race almost 200 races spending less than 24 hours and scoring 0 points. Just being one of the richest in the level. These guys... this guy is the anti super rookie.
/gb/ManagerProfile.asp?IDM=936334
Every news posted here is accurate ;)
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#11 posted Mar 23rd 2021, 18:57:21
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Quote ( Ricardo Antunes @ March 23rd 2021,17:59:50 ) Quote ( Zé Pedro Paula @ March 23rd 2021,17:56:21 )
Quote ( Ricardo Antunes @ March 22nd 2021,20:50:59 )
Lewis Hamilton from Turkey
That was pretty lame.
Better is having 4 first names, including family names, like my last name is, race almost 200 races spending less than 24 hours and scoring 0 points. Just being one of the richest in the level. These guys... this guy is the anti super rookie.
/gb/ManagerProfile.asp?IDM=936334
Every news posted here is accurate ;)
Oh yes, I had no idea that the F1 tests were in Turkey and he must have joined while there. :-) Or was he in transit...
And that wasn't just a gossip like stolen bandanas just to look like Miles. :-)
I call "this guy" the Four Friends.
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#12 posted Mar 23rd 2021, 19:58:18
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#13 posted Mar 23rd 2021, 20:11:47
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Finally some unbiased and well-researched news.
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#14 posted Mar 24th 2021, 12:19:48
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To report a very important event that has happened this week, feel free to send me a PM: /gb/NewMail.asp?IDM=906459.
I reserve the right to find it boring and not talk about it. :P
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#15 posted Mar 24th 2021, 13:17:40
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can't wait for the next week report . fantastic .
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#16 posted Mar 24th 2021, 14:59:56
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the only one , on my watch list .
good work ..
Quote ( Ricardo Antunes @ March 22nd 2021,19:24:29 ) how many Rookies hired drivers with a talent of 250
don’t kill us , otherwise who will train those driver
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#17 posted Mar 24th 2021, 16:56:05
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This is awesome.
The "Editor" has made himself a target, and has the confidence to take on all comers.
Roll on Ricardo. I will watch this forum keenly. Who needs silly games.
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Last week in GPRO:
- Incredible discussion is had on Discord: feelings are heated up and nobody believes what happened!
- The Oscars were given in the last Saturday, in the longest ceremony ever had, but nobody was really paying attention, not even the host!
- A suggestion was made that literally nobody disagreed with. Experts analyse this as a "global disaster" and "certainly a pre-apocalypse"
Recently, feelings heated up on Discord chat, as 2 managers started chasing eachothers with gifs of people diving into pools, in an heated argument which took more than 3 hours. Witnesses say that "its unfortunate that people were talking about a team or whatever at the same time, because I was really enjoying the show". A while later, everyone was told to "shut the f*** up", because they wanted to see all the gifs the 2 opponents had to give to each other.
Last Saturday, the Oscars were held in typical fashion with great expectation, with an average of 3 spectators, since everyone else was watching Formula 1 instead. The host himself was busy watching a race of marbles, leading the cerimony to last hours, as a voting result came out every hour, after everyone remembered the Oscars were actually taking place.
This week, a suggestion was made by Chris Shaw, and the idea was so broadly accepted, that not even one thumbs down was casted so far! Everyone was so surprised, that same Chris Shaw started creating theories to why this crazy event happened, and in an amazing turn of events, everyone agreed with him again! Experts on the matter report that: "the chances of this happening are less than 1 in a million, so it is normal to see everyone panicking.". In an interview with a random Rookie driver, to which we paid 5 supporter credits for them to answer as we wanted, they said: "I haven't been here for long, but Ricardo is really awesome."
In other news:
- Driver scams more than 20 Amateur managers, and ends up with a salary of 2,5 million dollars despite being slower than my grandmother.
- According to experts, a new GPRO App would allow players to "rage quit more easily, by just unninstalling the app", instead of posting degenerative comments on the threads, losing their dignity. Managers report that: "It would be very satisfying to be able to rage quit after I underfueled by 1 litres, which is clearly not my fault and a mistake the developers made."
- In a dramatic and unexpected turn of events, rain stroke the track of the Sakhir Grand Prix for the entire race, unlike the usual events of raining stopping and starting every 5 minutes. Avonn users rejoice, while Continental users complain that “the game is rigged”.
This was all for this week. For more news on how you can cheat in GPRO by using the Chrome built-in html system to change your group to Elite, stay tuned until next week!
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#19 posted Mar 28th 2021, 13:26:49
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Quote ( Ricardo Antunes @ March 28th 2021,13:20:58 ) with an average of 3 spectators,
I was one! I feel so important... although only for part of the show :/
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#20 posted Mar 28th 2021, 13:47:18 (last edited Mar 28th 2021, 13:47:33 by Luke Frost)
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Haha, lol'd pretty hard at some paragraphs. Awesome article there @Ricardo Antunes (P18) :D very creative writing.
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#21 posted Mar 28th 2021, 15:40:50
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Quote ( Ricardo Antunes @ March 28th 2021,13:20:58 ) For more news on how you can cheat in GPRO by using the Chrome built-in html system to change your group to Elite, stay tuned until next week!
Finally a way for me to reach Elite! :)
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#22 posted Mar 30th 2021, 16:09:45
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Quote ( Ricardo Antunes @ March 28th 2021,13:20:58 ) This was all for this week. For more news on how you can cheat in GPRO by using the Chrome built-in html system to change your group to Elite, stay tuned until next week!
What, surely there are no cheaters on GPRO. Ask @Supreme Yolk in Rookie 103
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#23 posted Mar 30th 2021, 16:17:03
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Last week in GPRO:
- A thread made for apologies quickly becomes a shitshow because nobody was expecting humans to be able to apologize appropriatly
- A driver is amazing, bargain; nobody listens and driver loses job.
- Manager wishes his driver were a robot and didn't commit mistakes; admins worry about a robot uprise, and say "you will have to deal with those randoms unless you want something even worse to happen".
Hopes were high when creating a thread meant to apologize, but much like any thread that intents to spread positivity and forgiveness, this was quickly shut down by the natural human urge to start apologizing for following their natural instinct of defecating, just being there, or plain refusing to apologize in the first place and yelling "I HAVE NO REGRETS!!!". In an interview with a concerned manager, we were told that: "Look, i know I spit on you the other day, but that doesn't mean I have to apologize. Man up."
A thread was created with the purpose of showing what a bargain and amazing a driver was, causing every possible chance of that driver to be signed by a innocent amateur flushed down and sent into oblivion. That same driver announced that he is open for contracts, but he knows a curse has been set on him, and says: "That damn Cameron idiot had to ruin my chance of racing in GPRO, didn't he? I'm going to flat out one of his tyres and we will see who laughs last!".
In an unsurprising turn of events, yet another person complains about randoms and wishes that drivers were just robots who didn't do any kind of mistakes and did perfect racing line all the time, without getting tired. People agree that this would not kill the sport at all, but admins urge for caution as the robots may start a revolution, causing races to take the duration of days, which is fine by the robots, since they don't ever get tired. Experts are working on a solution to this problem, so that we can quickly get robots implemented into the game.
In other news:
- Medical expert warns players about the dangers of smoking so early into the season, saying that "i know you like to test those limits, but your lung doesn't". Admins try to explain what smoking means in the context of the game, but medical expert doesn't listen and urges the game to but shut down immediatly.
- Manager manages to get first place despite having made no overtakes; witnesses report that "just because he started on pole by 5 seconds, doesn't mean it isn't less rewarding to beat the crap out of everyone in every single race lapping them several times. A conquer on its own."
- The recent implementation of the dirty side of a track in races has not caused any forum backlash of several angry managers from season 10 demanding that they remove the feature immediatly. In an analysis on why that happened, Roland Postle commented: "01000100 01101001 01100100 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01110010 01100101 01100001 01101100 01101100 01111001 00100000 01101010 01110101 01110011 01110100 00100000 01110100 01110010 01100001 01101110 01110011 01101100 01100001 01110100 01100101 00100000 01100010 01101001 01101110 01100001 01110010 01111001 00100000 01100110 01110010 01101111 01101101 00100000 01100001 00100000 01110011 01100001 01110100 01101001 01110010 01101001 01100011 01100001 01101100 00100000 01101110 01100101 01110111 01110011 00100000 01100001 01110010 01110100 01101001 01100011 01101100 01100101 00100000 01100101 01111000 01110000 01100101 01100011 01110100 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01100110 01101001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01100001 01101110 01111001 01110100 01101000 01101001 01101110 01100111 00111111". Insightful.
And that is the end of yet another moment of your beloved GPRO News Site. For more on how to lead your driver to ultimate depression, because we all want to control them to their very limit, don't miss our next article, next week.
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Lmao at the Roland quote :D
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Please tell me I wasn't the only one to translate that...
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Quote ( Geir Pukk @ April 4th 2021,15:49:36 ) Please tell me I wasn't the only one to translate that...
Did you really just thought translating binary from PostleBot would tell you the secret to how to be an Elite champion? :P
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Quote ( Ricardo Antunes @ April 4th 2021,15:44:46 ) oland Postle commented:
:LOL:
Quote ( Geir Pukk @ April 4th 2021,15:49:36 ) Please tell me I wasn't the only one to translate that...
Doesn't everyone read it fluently as their 3rd language :P :D
(without "translation")
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Doesn't everyone read it fluently as their 3rd language :P :D
(without "translation")
um, no.
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Quote ( Mikko Heikkinen @ April 4th 2021,16:14:15 ) Doesn't everyone read it fluently as their 3rd language :P :D
(without "translation")
We've found the first of the new robot drivers...
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